providing we have the gun and no one else does. There are so many deserving cases… Dawdle at the checkout: BLAM! Get in our way on the pavement: you’re popped. Buy a Coldplay album…well, there just aren’t enough bullets even for one of you deluded people.
Gun culture worries the British because we’re so peevish and irritated by one another that we know there wouldn’t be enough of us left to bury the stinking heaps of the dead piled up on every street if it caught on.
that the unusual erm…injuries to Stuart Lubbock, the man found dead in his pool after a party, could have occurred during medical treatment and thus were not the result of sexual assault. We can picture the scene as the medics attempt to revive the victim: > “No response! What shall we do?”
“Ah, bugger him…” Well, it could have happened like that…
Imitation/flattery confusion.
Something to be said for the Commonwealth fuss anyway…
Which way does the (nuclear) wind blow this week?
Will or Gareth? Full fat or skimmed? Gee, so many choices in this modern world… Let’s see, last week I liked Gareth and hated Will, and was against bombing Iraq. But now they’ve blown up a club in Bali, I think I’m in favour of sending Will Young in and bombing Gareth. Or something. Hmmm, how pretty am I today?
until they have a go at the band you like.
Ugh, prog rock dinosaurs, I hate ‘em. For no good reason, I’d like to say why: * Because they’re dinosaurs. My dad says being over forty doesn’t make someone a dinosaur. What a total dino, man. * Because I heard Tales From Topographic Oceans once and it, like, made no sense whatsoever and I could feel my mind opening up a crack, and therefore all prog rock is crap. * Because making songs longer than four minutes is just wrong. Why? Because. * Because it’s self-indulgent, pretentious, (…checks copy of Politically Correct Handbook Of Rock…) “overblown” tosh. * Oh yeah, and they dressed stupidly too. And err… right, they’re dinosaurs. Yeah.
But hey, enough about musicians doing what they want and showing off their creativity, let’s talk about the hot new band on the cover of the NME this week. The ones with the totally rebellious music and image, because that’s what the record company told them would sell. Or what about this underground spin-off electronica project, it’s really unaffected and sincere. Rock on, kids!
(S’funny how people who are probably quite balanced in their racial and sexual attitudes can never apply the same level of enlightenment to musical taste. For those who say, “Yeah, what about all those jibes at Coldplay and Will Young, Ade?” - I was talking about Music. Rrraowww.
As for the infamous Tales…: we’ve never listened to it properly yet either, but feel its alleged pretension was still most effectively undermined by Rick Wakeman sending out for curry halfway through a live performance at Manchester.)
Seen on cover of ‘Now’ magazine:
…What about our’s, bitch?!
Things you shouldn’t do when overhearing the neighbours having sex:
That last one’s a real no-no. Case comes up next week.
BB felt strongly that the two boys excluded from Glyn Technology school for making death threats against a teacher should not be allowed to return. After all, using violent, anti-social behaviour as a means of getting your way should not be encouraged. But then we found out that the threats were made against a PE teacher, after which we say: is that all? Let them back in. Hell, let ‘em carry their threats out. I mean, where else would they have picked up the message that violent, anti-social behaviour is an appropriate way to get what you want?
How has life changed for us all?